The Godly Car

I usually don't post about cars, but the new 2012 Audi TT RS is one sexy mofo. I literally like every single thing about this slender box on wheels.

Jolly Rancher Story

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher. It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth... He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

Story courtesy of Reddit, of course.

The Ultimate Beer Ad

Hahn SuperDry takes home the gold.

Devour

All day, everyday.

Kool Keith Returns

Alas, I just found out my hero from the early 90's has returned from the dead. This is going to be a great Summer.

Callin' the Shots

Yes! I am in gear heaven this Summer. Unknown Soldier. HUF. The fun don't stop!

Shaolin Forever

I really am hating every single one of Blogger's new UI updates. Anyway, here's some new Raekwon, son. This one's raw as hell.

I Wants My Prodip

Mmmm... this Hong Kong kid reminds me of Kozyndan. I must have one of his prints. Must find... his e-mail addy.

All Walls Will Fall

Been in this strange slow pop-dubsteppy-coastal music mood for about a month now. I feel like coasting is a bad way to go through life, but for now, I'm kinda feelin' it.

Mr. Little Jeans – The Suburbs (Arcade Fire Cover) (MP3)

I Wished

When I was young, I wished I was a little bit older.
But when time came, I wished I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wished I didn't work so hard.
I wished I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
I wished that I had let myself be happier.
Only then did I realize there was no more time for wishes.

And There Was Love

I sat there, blurry-eyed, believing that there was a sure thing as perfection. If only she saw the same.

Wednesday Splurge: Iconic Kitchen

Mmmm... tasty tasty Eames. Did I mention they're knock offs? I'm not sure if that will fly with most people, but at $60 a pop, who can complain?